


Love Me for Who I am, Not Who You Want Me To Be

by juvjuvychan



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, RinHaru-unrequited, possessive!Rin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-01
Updated: 2013-10-01
Packaged: 2017-12-28 03:05:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/986918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juvjuvychan/pseuds/juvjuvychan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's one way the story is suppose to end, this isn't it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Me for Who I am, Not Who You Want Me To Be

**Author's Note:**

> This was written way back in the early days of fandom after ep5. I was getting a little sick of unrequited!Makoharu fics so I wrote this. This is my first time posting a fic (actually writing a fic in years omg) on AO3 so I'm still getting used to formatting. Hope it comes out alright.

Rin kicked the rock lying near his foot in moderate irritation. He leaned heavily against the tree behind him hoping to relive some of the agitation he felt brewing beneath his skin like spiders crawling along his spine. This wasn’t right, he had returned to Japan after years of long training to be the best. He was now closer than ever, so close he could taste it hot and buzzing in his soul. His dream was slowly becoming a reality and the one person he needed to share it with hadn’t even waited for him. 

 

There Haru stood, but a few feet away from him yet the distance between them was never bigger. Rin gritted his teeth. 

 

“You were suppose to wait.” 

 

Haru glanced at him but said nothing which only made Rin angier. He hated not knowing what the other boy was thinking. Always with that same blank look in his eye, but at the same time Rin loved the look those deep blue eyes got when Haru swam. How they lit up and pulsed with life. Rin wanted that look, that passion, directed at him and no one else more than anything. He wanted to capture Haru and monopolize him completely. 

 

“When did you get back?” Haru asked, his tone even giving nothing away. It only served to make Rin feel more insecure and he didn’t _deal_ well with insecurity. Rather he faced it head on attacking it with everything he had without giving it the chance to swallow him whole. 

 

“Last week,” Rin paused swallowing thickly, “I heard you’re dating Makoto now. Is that true?” Rin had heard it from Gou herself, but part of him couldn’t really believe it. Sure everyone had known Makoto had feelings for Haru, he did next to nothing to hide them from anyone with half a brain. Rin just assumed Haru knew too and ignored it for Makoto’s own good, or because he didn’t care enough to address it. Besides which he was with Rin—at the time anyway—and what more could he need?

 

Haru’s eyes narrowed, “that’s really none of your business anymore.” Rin’s jaw clenched tight. Didn’t Haru know how he felt? How guilty he felt about leaving him? Didn’t he understand that it wasn’t something Rin wanted to do but had to. It was for his dream, he needed to become an Olympic swimmer, a champion. Not only for himself but for his father as well. To honor his memory. 

 

Rin never felt more alive then he did swimming competitively and outshining anyone who got in his way in the water. He thought Haru understood that. 

 

“Look, I know I shouldn’t have left like that. But I needed to, I...I thought you understood how important this was to me.”

 

“I did understand, and I still do, that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.”

 

Not that Rin could tell, Haru still, even now, looked as stoic as ever. How was Rin suppose to know what he was thinking let alone feeling when he hid his emotions like that? “I didn’t mean to hurt you-”

 

“I know you didn’t.”

 

“Let me finished damnit.” Haru’s mouth clipped shut. Rin could remember pressing his lips against Haru’s all those years ago. The soft pressure, of nothing more than a chaste goodbye kiss. One seeped in childhood innocence and naivete. Suddenly Rin wanted nothing more than to kiss him again; to simply breathe in Haru. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, and I’m sorry. I swear that I am. But I’m back now Haru. I’m back and we can be together again.” He stepped towards Haru reaching out to touch his wrist. 

 

“No.” Haru said firmly pulling away. “We can’t.” 

 

Rin could feel his head swim, ears clouding up, his mouth going dry. He found himself running towards Haru’s retreating back, pushing him roughly against the fence. He peered into the blue eyes that held him so captivated, that had haunted his dreams even now. He saw himself reflected in them and knew he just couldn’t give up. Haru was _his_. 

 

“I won’t accept it.” He said near panting with a sense of righteous fury buzzing in his veins. Haru stared back unrelenting. 

 

“I’m with Makoto now Rin.” He stated, as if that was the end of it, as if Rin could truly accept something like that. Haru broke eye contact attempting to break out of the barrier Rin’s arms had created around him. Instead Rin leaned in close, brushing his nose against Haru’s cheek. The other boy brought his eyes back, his breathe mingling with Rin’s now. They were so close that Rin could feel the heat of Haru’s body against his. With one final push Rin pressed his lips tightly against Haru’s. 

 

They were just as soft as he remembered, and just as warm. Slightly chapped, with a taste of cholrine that never seemed to leave Haru’s skin. He pressed harder licking the seam of Haru’s lips coaxing the other boy to open his mouth. To let Rin show him things were different now. That they were older, things could be better. That Rin could bring Haru pleasure Makoto never could because Rin was the only one to inspire such passion in Haru. Both in swimming and all other aspects of their lives. 

 

Haru didn’t kiss back. Instead he shoved gently at Rin’s chest disconnecting their lips. Rin suddenly felt like cold water had been poured down his throat. 

 

“You don’t get to do that anymore Rin.” With that Haru broke out of his hold walking away without a backwards glance. 

 

“I won’t give up Haru. We belong together and you know it. You felt it just like I did.”

 

Haru tsked, “you’re such a child,” he said bitterly. “You’re only thinking of yourself and what you want. You don’t own me Rin. No one does. And I chose who I want to be with.” 

 

“And that’s Makoto?” Rin spat. 

 

“Yes.” Haru replied simply before walking away. Suddenly Rin felt like he had when he was a child. Haru had beaten him even after he practiced over and over to be better, but he still wasn’t good enough. 

 

\----------------------------------------------

 

They walked together in comfortable silence as the sun began setting on the ocean, casting a deep red-orange glow on their town. Haru could tell Makoto wanted to ask him something, and Haru would bet his best jammer it was about what happened between him and Rin that afternoon. 

 

“Don’t sulk, if you have something to say, say it,” Haru said bluntly. He didn’t want Makoto to hold things in as he was prone to. 

 

“Ah, well... Well Haru I, I heard saw Rin today.” Mokoto said with a small smile. That smile often fooled others, almost everyone else save for Motoko’s parents, siblings, and Haru himself. Haru knew the look of Mokoto’s real smile, and that certainly wasn’t it. 

 

“Was that all you heard?”

 

“...ah, no,”

 

“Makoto.” 

 

Makoto let out a rough chuckle, as if what he was about to say hurt him deeply. It probably did and that hurt Haru, because he only wanted Makoto to be happy. Makoto deserved happiness after giving Haru so much, after standing by his side since they were children. For being good and not wanting anything in return. Haru knew he wasn’t a prize, something to be cherished or put on display. In Makoto’s eyes he was a person, worthy of respect and with that came acceptance. Haru knew he wasn’t the easiest person to deal with, he was self-aware enough to be able to acknowledge that. He didn’t smile often, was quiet to a fault, emotions didn’t come expressed as easily as it did for others like Makoto or Nagisa, or Gou. But Haru was Haru, and he wanted to be loved for him. Makoto gave him that. 

 

“I heard that, that you and Rin kissed.” Mokoto said without a trace of judgment or accusation in his voice. Just the faint tinge of resignation. 

 

Haru nodded not denying it. Not that he would anyway, him and Makoto were always honest with each other. The biggest lie Makoto ever told him was that he didn’t love him when Haru had asked point blank. That had only lasted a few minutes before Makoto broke down saying of course he loved Haru, and of course Haru didn’t need to love him back it was okay, he didn’t need anything but Haru’s friendship, that was enough it was always enough. Haru had simply smiled before kissing Makoto quiet on the mouth. 

 

“Gou-chan told me today.” Makoto said swallowing roughly. Haru grabbed Makoto’s hand, weaving their fingers together. Makoto blinked surprised by the gesture as Haru wasn’t one for such displays very often. 

 

“I don’t want to go back to him.” Haru said squeezing their hands together. “I chose who I want to be with, and I want to be with you.” Makoto stared at him for a moment, seemingly to process what Haru just told him. He had a tendency to do that sometimes. Green eyes big with disbelief, swimming with emotion, as if he couldn’t believe Haru had chosen _him_ , fell in love with _him_. It only made Haru love Makoto more. 

 

Then Makoto smiled, gentle and bright making Haru’s heart swoop inside his chest. Makoto pulled their entwined hands to his mouth. He placed a feather light kiss to Haru’s knuckles. Nothing but gentleness, love, and compassion shining bright in his eyes. Haru felt his cheeks heat up slightly, but he couldn't help smiling in return. 

 

“Makoto,” he breathed reaching up and pressing his lips against the other boys. There they kissed under the orange glow of the setting sun and there was no where else Haru would rather be. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
